It really bothers me when I have to take off my shoes upon entering someone else’s house. I know that sounds insensitive and it’s not my place to make such a call because I’m only there under their grace, but that doesn’t make it any less illogical or annoying.
I’m a person deeply rooted in logic and efficiency. It’s not hard to see why I like dealing with computers so much, but obviously I also have to deal with people. People are messy. People have arbitrary wants and needs and hold beliefs that need have no logical foundation. For the most part I get along just fine, as I’ve set up an interface specifically for dealing with people on a regular basis. Even in this case, with people expecting me to take my shoes off, I politely do so in order to best interact with these people. But it still irritates me.
I am well aware that there are certain cultures that treat the home as some sort of sacred shrine and I’m fine with that, but I’d rather not intrude on the sacred shrine if at all possible. If your home isn’t a shrine, but rather a simple functional space as is more popular today in the US, then let me keep my shoes on. I’m not an inconsiderate or clumsy person, so don’t worry about me tracking mud onto your floor — that’s not a remotely common occurrence or realistic expectation.
Contrary to all apparent opinion, floors are actually not made for looking at and keeping shiny; they’re for walking on. If you have some 17th century marble floor that could be scratched by someone walking across it with sneakers on, don’t let people walk on that floor. If that type of floor is anywhere near a space in your house where you would expect to have guests, you are an idiot. Again, floors are for walking; if you want to keep priceless marble around then put it on the wall or the ceiling.
As for my house, expect to keep your shoes on when you come over. Don’t track dirt into my house or I’ll make you clean it up and won’t invite you over again, but assuming you’re even reasonably intelligent and self-aware you should be fine. I know my carpets are meant to be walked upon; they do a pretty good job at it.
I should make it clear that my explicit intention is not to admonish or otherwise look down upon those who do enforce the “no shoes” rule, but rather simply to record my distaste for the preference with some logic to back it up. I don’t really like being stopped at red lights either, but I will continue doing that just as sure as I will remove my shoes when it’s expected of me.
Very valid rant.
I always remind the “take off your shoes” people that the skin oil from bare feet as damaging to carpet as mostly clean shoe soles.
People tend to put ego over utility sadly.
I think there is a large percentage of individuals that believe their proverbial shit does not stink either.
It’s not damage to the floor that’s a concern. Poo is a concern. Poo ends up on the bottom of shoes. Even when you think you wiped it all off on the grass, it’s still on your shoe.
Just like the mud, the occurrence of poop on the bottom of one’s shoe is extremely rare (assuming you have a properly cleaned front yard or whatever else). You could easily mitigate this danger with a required “shoe check” upon entry to the house.
Folks who have pets and still make you take off your shoes are the worst. I knew this one couple who had a big dog that would poop at least 3 times a week somewhere on their carpets, and pissed inside everywhere like it was a straight up urinal, but yet each time we showed up, it was always “Eh, would you mind taking your shoes off”? Yes, I would mind, I don’t feel like stepping in your dog’s poop/piss residue!
So, my argument for taking off shoes is not just cultural, it is practical.
Mud and feces on the bottom of your shoes is not really that uncommon, but there’s more to it than that. There is always something you are tracking into the home you are entering.
Unless you sit at the door and brush the bottom of your shoes, that is.
This is of special concern in houses where the floor does not get regular cleaning. Any college house is likely to last a much longer time between cleanings before the floor gets disgusting.
Really, the policy is not just for egregious amounts of dirt on one’s foot, it’s for any amount of dirt that would get ground into the carpet.
Liam — isn’t your beef with pet owners who can’t discipline their pets properly?
Scott’s argument is totally correct. It’s also a nice gesture to give your guests slippers they can wear in the house.
One of the biggest reasons I don’t like taking off my shoes is that my feet get too cold. Combined with my allergy to cold, this results in a distinctly unpleasant experience. I could see having a “no shoes” policy if slippers were provided for guests, as Huey mentioned and I’ve seen in high-end hotels and houses.
The college house is a bit of an extreme case due to the heavy traffic and often socially and hygienically inexperienced visitors. Those floors are going to be filthy no matter what you do. So the policy might extend the necessary carpet cleaning interval to 6 months from 3, but it has the added effect of getting everyone’s socks dirty in the meantime, which then spreads the dirt into any other part of the house where those people walk. It’s a nasty problem and the solution probably lies with hardwood floors and frequent cleanings.
Spoken like someone who has never lived in a place where it snows.
It’s much easier to have your opinion when you live where the ground is rarely wet or especially dirty.
But the solution is to just get a Roomba and stop caring.
Title: It’s not about the shoes…..
Let’s see, asking people to remove their shoes when entering a home is common in more of the world than not (many cultures would be horrified at the thought of shoes inside), it’s sanitary, money-saving, healthy, and potentially life saving, therefore “arbitrary”, distasteful, and “illogical”
Well, of course, you are absolutely correct.
For example, just because some people have life-threatening allergies to even small amounts of certain substances, it’s silly for them to want to keep those out of their house Peanut allergies, for example, kill more people each year than any other….and those who have exceptionally serious ones can have an anaphylactic reaction and die from accidentally ingesting, or even touching, a bit of peanut.
But, of course, it would be rude for your host to annoy you because of some arbitrary “belief” in science. He won’t mind at all when the remnants of that peanut you stepped on at the bar cause him to choke and stop breathing.
And those cat feces from the feral felines you walked through without knowing it? Just because your pregnant friend never expected to encounter any in her house, it would be idiotic of her to ask you to remove your shoes so she doesn’t accidentally contract toxoplasmosis. After all, women have miscarriages all the time…and the chance of the baby being stillborn is no big deal either - except for being mentally retarded, the kid will probably be just fine. If not, hey, she can always get pregnant again…it doesn’t always cause heart disease, and a little blindness won’t kill her.
Yep, all that nasty stuff we step in every day…well, it builds character. Let’s track it all through our houses where kids crawl on the floor and drop food and pick it up and eat it; let’s run the vacuum and stir it all up and breathe deep, cause it would sure be nice to get an extra day off work thanks to a little bronchitis or sinus infection or…well, not enough space here for everything, but come on over, ’cause I’d like a couple of months just to lounge in bed.
Oh, sorry, I forgot, taking off your shoes annoys you because you’re logical…and people want you to do it for “arbitrary” reasons with no “logical foundation.” Well, that’s OK then.
I mean, money’s not everything either. So carpet’s expensive and socks or bare feet don’t tear it up the way rubber soles, heavy sneaker treads, high-heeled shoe, etc. do. So maybe those spike heels can dent the hardwood or cut the linoleum. You can always replace it
No one really wants their carpets (the most expensive item in the majority of homes) to last the 20 to 40 years that’s possible. They’d rather replace them every 6 to 9 years so people won’t think they’re cheap. Yeah, the carpet people tell you to avoid excess dirt and wear and tear, and they all suggest you remove your shoes to extend your carpet’s life. But what do they know?
Assuming new carpet costs $5000, you can spend that maybe just a couple of times in your life, or you can spend that 8 or 10 times. In other words, removing shoes might help save you $40,000 over your lifetime - a nice sum to invest and grow for retirement (in 30 years you could have $150,000 easy), or to send a kid to college, etc. Yep, those irrational people who’d rather have a comfortable retirement than let their friends wear shoes inside are just selfish materialists.
You’re so right, a home is just a “functional space”, and not a “shrine”. It is distasteful for the owners to worry about hurting their floor covering just because it’s expensive. I’m with you, “…don’t let people walk on that floor!” They can put plastic over it, or ask guests to levitate for heavens sake.
One last story…and read this one closely:
All those construction workers who come home with a little dust on their shoes, big deal. It blends right in, and the asbestos fibers (ssshhh, don’t tell, but his company is saving a BUNDLE illegally removing those old blown ceilings) will help keep their family safe from fire. Of course, little Denise 30 years from now, and her oncologist, will have no idea how she got mesothelioma. That’s not supposed to happen unless you’re exposed to asbestos, and Emma has NEVER been exposed, she’s certain. A medical miracle. In the 11 months she has to live (so sad, it’s one of those pesky untreatable cancers that no one has ever survived), her doctor will write a paper theorizing that a mutated simian virus might be a secondary cause, and he’ll get publication in a peer reviewed journal and a promotion with a hefty raise.
Congratulations, those who share your distaste are serving humanity by furthering scientific research.
Well, I’ve enjoyed this little exercise in ironic hyperbole (hyperbole, of course, meaning…..oh dear, sorry, you are deeply rooted in logic, so there’s no need to define terms for you). And I am certainly impressed by your efficiency. People are messy, and the more you can get rid of, the fewer you’ll have to deal with.
Oh, remember I said to read the asbestos story closely? That one may sound like the most unlikely, and yet it’s the one that happened: to my best friend. Right before she died, they finally figured out why she’d had long-term exposure to asbestos. Her dad was lucky, and the rest of the family, but for whatever reason she got hit. Age 41, two small children, and 11 months of almost non-stop nausea and pain, radiation, surgery, chemo and pills.
No wonder, is there, that your essay set off a nasty attack of fury on my part?
But it’s not about the shoes. It’s not your attitude about removing them that gets me. It’s your attitude toward people, for a couple of reasons.
The lesser reason? Because as an IT specialist, I’m deathly tired of computer geeks flaunting their alleged superiority over people who are not in fact id10ts. We devote our careers to interacting with machines that are the true idiots, incapable of any action more complicated than “on” and “off” - a tool, just like a hammer or a Swiss Army knife, that does precisely what we tell it to do, and no more. This doesn’t mean we’re necessarily geniuses, or math whizzes, or logicians. We’re just people who happen to know a bunch of facts that non-experts don’t, none of them in any way profound, philosophical, intellectual or spiritual.
But for some reason, a huge number of our tribe develop great disdain for “messy” people. They show up to help the end “luser” and treat them like dirt just because the poor desk jockey doesn’t know how his computer works and so can’t possibly solve an unexpected problem.
We toss them a computer and show them where the menu is, and their documents, and the icons they need, and that’s it. No person, no manufacturer, no computer manual, no built-in OS help ever starts them from the beginning and teaches them the difference between RAM and the hard drive, how files are organized, that the application is not the Internet, and the few basics that could enable them to figure things out themselves.
To hell with them; it’s easy. If they can’t figure it out they shouldn’t be using a computer.
Well my clients all have stories about people like you. Because every line of your article screams condescension and disdain for non-machine humans.
The first thing I teach my clients is this: You Are Not An Idiot. If a technician is impatient, disrespectful and condescending in the first 5 minutes, tell him to leave. Call his company and tell them. Explain you won’t be hiring them again. Refuse to accept unprofessional behavior, and eventually we’ll end up with computer experts who gladly, and respectfully, show people how to use the tool they’ve been handed.
The greater reason? Well, when you have a moment, look up “logical” in the dictionary - you appear to think it means “closed-minded” and “self centered”, so you’re in for a surprise. And while you’re at it, pull your head out of your a….er, computer and look up a few other words, like “compassion” and “respect”. What you are deeply rooted in is misanthropy, not logic, and a belief - as arbitrary as those you criticize - that wants and needs have no logical foundation unless they are your own.
Your ostensible intention was to present a rational refutation of a practice you deem illogical. What you actually wrote is a tantrum in the form of an essay, a childish sneer at something you simply happen to dislike. Maybe someday you’ll study real logic - as opposed to computer logic - and learn to tell the difference. Even more unlikely, you might learn how to stop “dealing” with people and finally recognize them as peers and equals…and human beings.
Cheers,
cordwainer
A heart-rending rant to be sure. I appreciate the insight regarding asbestos; that had never occurred to me.
I won’t refute the accuracy of your other charges because I understand what you’re trying to get across, but suffice it to say that I’m not nearly as evil or unfeeling as it might seem.
Thanks.
Dear cordwainer,
It fascinates me to see that you are capable of pinpointing all the salient aspects of Brad’s personality without ever having been in the same room with him, much less talking to him and getting to know him. Are you a psychic? Perhaps you’re from the future and have brought back a device that analyzes character traits via the internet.
All sarcasm and mocking aside, you should consider taking a less judgmental stance. Your point could easily have been made without the personal attack, and it would have made better sense. Name-calling only detracts from the perceived validity of your argument.
Let me assure you that, however his writing may come across to you, he does not treat anyone with disrespect, impatience, or disdain simply because they lack the computer expertise he has, or even because they feel differently about subjects like indoor shoe removal. As to his alleged self-centeredness and misanthropy, have a quick look at what he does for a living and tell me he doesn’t care about the rest of the world.
Sincerely,
Bethany
cordwainer is awesome! thank you for writing everything i couldn’t think of but love to read. “I concure cordwainer… I concure!”
Dear Bethany… you can’t fix everyone. However you are a dear hearted person.
I just don’t want everything you’ve been walking in all day where ever you were, tracked onto my tile… which I like to keep clean… thank you. It is a respect issue I believe. Some people just don’t care.
It should be noted that, while Brad doesn’t particularly like taking his shoes off inside, he does so without hesitation or argument when it’s requested of him. He shrugs it off without a fuss, and you’d never know about his preference from his reaction.
What bothers me about taking my shoes off inside is that it seems very few people put forth the effort to keep their floors clean, whether they’re carpet, tile, hardwood, or whatever. It bothers me when I’m asked to take off my shoes, ostensibly so I don’t dirty up the floors, and then to see all the nasty dirt, hair and debris clinging to my feet when it’s time to put my shoes back on again. Of course, I, too, take my shoes off without complaint when my host asks me to do so; I just wish people made a point of keeping their own floors clean before demanding that shoes be removed at the door.
P.S. To micmic - far be it from me to try to “fix” Brad. He’s perfect as it is. :)