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Today, it was brought to my attention that Maryland’s governor, in an August 24 announcement with General Motors outlined a timetable for the “sustainable” energy future from Sun Edison’s products, which began life back in 2003. The governor helped pass legislation that requires 20 percent of Maryland’s energy portfolio to come from renewable sources of energy by 2022. Go ahead, read it again. It’s not a typo. Two thousand twenty two.

I immediately stopped reading. Didn’t even bother with the rest of the press release. Why? Because it just doesn’t matter. The whole concept of sustainable energy, which I once strongly advocated for, has now become so incredibly ridiculous as to be not even worth the time and attention of serious electrical contractors and residential developers.

As I pointed out on Twitter today (much to the dismay of certain hippie tree huggers, who have previously asked me to name names instead of referring to a “useless liberal faction”): it ultimately doesn’t matter if sustainable energy is available next month, next year, or fifty years from now. Those of us who do real work in this industry know that the only thing that really matters is what specs and technologies are supported by the contractors and products real people use.

I’ve got work to do, here. I don’t have time to sit around reading specs and interviews by spec editors detailing what is going to happen in 13 years. God knows where I’ll be in 13 years. Quite frankly, I’ll be pretty [redacted] disappointed in myself (and our entire industry) if I’m wiring houses in 13 years. Hell, if I’m still alive in 2022, I’ll think I haven’t been playing hard enough.

I care about right [redacted] now. My clients care about right [redacted] now. Our homeowners care about right [redacted] now. The only people that really give a damn about two thousand twenty two are people who write timetables for a living.

I’m done with sustainable energy. I’m done reading specs. I’m done caring whether a lightbulb is Energy Star™ compliant or not. I’m done caring whether ecomagination™ is a “standard” or not. I’m done caring whether or not a light fixture jibes with a given spec. Who [redacted] cares? I’m wiring houses for clients and homeowners, not for Robert J. Meyers. Aren’t you?

We’ve all learned a lot through this sustainability movement. We are now capable of identifying a good idea when we see it (like the standardization of compact fluorescent techniques, for example). We are equally capable of knowing when something feels inelegant (like maintaining different standards for different states). Our bullshit radar is strong these days. We don’t need a spec to tell us whether something is useful or not (LEDs were incredibly useful, despite not being a “standard”).

I’m not saying the specs should go away. They absolutely serve a purpose. I’m just saying that I personally am done paying much attention to them. Instead, I’m reading blogs like Construction Contractor’s Digest and National Electrical Contractors Association to find out what the new shiny is in contracting, because these are the things I can actually take advantage of in serving my clients and homeowners.

If and when sustainable energy becomes something that can help me serve my clients and the owners of their homes, then I will absolutely learn all there is to know about it and incorporate it into my arsenal. Until then, I don’t see the point. There are people, like Maryland’s governor and Robert J. Meyers, who care about this stuff. They, and people like them, are smart cookies. If they want to look forward and try to imagine what we might be doing in 2022, that’s awesome. In the meantime, I’ve got real work to do.

So forgive me if I poke fun at the absurdity of proposing a timeline 13 years out in this industry. It’s not personal. It’s just, I mean, c’mon…that’s [redacted] ridiculous. It’s ridiculous to even think about what sustainable energy will look like 13 years from now. It’s so unbelievably absurd that I can’t help but laugh. For the past several years I’ve been making jokes like, “Sustainable energy will be awesome when it’s usable in 2014.” Today, I found out my absurdist jokes weren’t even half as ridiculous as the reality of the situation. And that’s funny. Like, really funny. And if you get your panties in a knot because I am making light of the situation, then you and I just wouldn’t get along.

So while you count the days until sustainable energy is available to you, I’ll be doing real work, on real homes, which have real homeowners, for real clients. I truly look forward to raising a glass to those of you whose hard work will make sustainable energy a reality…in two thousand twenty two.

With tribute, absurdity and apologies to Jeff Croft.